Sex is a stress-reliever. But sometimes people are so stressed that getting into the mood for sex is practically impossible, especially among people approach or in mid-life crisis. Of course sex is not the only casualty of stress. It is the most common disease of modern man and it can kill. So what, precisely, is "stress?"
Stress is people's response when faced with circumstances that force them to act, change, or adjust in some way to maintain their footing, their balance. Sometimes known as, as "fight-or-flight" response, it can trigger many involuntary changes in our bodies including, among other things, a disinclination for sex. It can result to impotence, even damaged relationships.
Setting the mood for sex when stressed out is difficult but it can be done by just doing a little tweaking here and there. The following are intended to do just that.
Talk to someone emotionally close to you:
Getting connected with others is a good way to relieve stress. It makes us realize that we are not alone in this world and that others are probably in far more worse situation than we are. A good conversation with someone close to you can help find relief;
Have a good laugh:
There are times when we are so stressed-out that laughter is virtually impossible. Ironically, finding a reason or circumstance for a good laugh is just what you need. So try watching a funny TV feature, read comics or a humorous book.
Simplify:
More often than not, stress comes from expecting too much in life. Take a close look inside and assess your needs and wants. Start living according to your needs and get rid some of your wants. It won't kill you. In fact you might even find life to be more stress-free and fulfilling.
Exercise:
Feel that knot in your neck muscles? Nothing beats sweating out to untie them. Taking a walk or shadow boxing makes wonders. And it gives you more energy to tackle the demands of your day. A good 20 mins, three times a day of simple basic exercise can make you fell more energized, have more positive hormones flow into your blood, make you feel a lot happier. Have you seen a happy person stressed out?
Eat well:
What you eat can make you feel energized and light or sluggish and stressed. A diet of vegetables, protein and whole foods can reduce stress, increase your energy levels and make you look and feel better - the right ingredients for good sex.
Have enough sleep:
Bad sleep habits can affect your entire system and can make you feel more stressed, tired and sluggish. If evening sleep is insufficient, consider taking a nap. A mound of data supports the benefits of a short nap after lunch.
Create the right atmosphere:
A quiet and relaxing evening, dimmed lights, soft music and a few candles should set things right. Throw away your cell phones and unhook the telephone to prevent any intrusion into your private moments. Aw shucks, you know the drill.
Go slow and easy:
Romance is not a hundred meter dash but a miler; not fast food but fine dining. A little suggestive conversation, a massage to release tension can get you connected. Remember, sex is not a raid but a siege.
The above should help you get over that stressed feeling. It may take some time to get your juices flowing but it is worth the effort. Denial, for whatever reason, can have very dire and lasting consequences with your relationship. Never entertain the idea that you are going downhill, sex-wise, due to age or stress. Studies show that love and sex don't evaporate with age. Being human, we still need to touch and be touched, to kiss, embrace and feel the joys of sex. Middle-aged people of today have been found out to be very much alive and kicking with regards to the passions of sex.
By: Joseph Dabon
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